Alexander

ALEXANDER (15)

D: Oliver Stone

Warner Bros. (Thomas Schühly, Jon Kilik, Iain Smith & Moritz Borman)

UK/France/Germany/Italy 🇬🇧 🇫🇷 🇩🇪 🇮🇹 2004

175 mins

Historical/Biopic

W: Oliver Stone, Christopher Kyle & Laeta Kalogridis

DP: Rodrigo Prieto

Ed: Tom Nordberg, Yann Hervé, Alex Marquez & Gladys Joujou

Mus: Vangelis

PD: Jan Roelfs

Cos: Jenny Beavan

Colin Farrell (Alexander the Great), Angelina Jolie (Queen Olympias), Val Kilmer (King Philip II), Christopher Plummer (Aristotle), Jared Leto (Hephaistion), Rosario Dawson (Roxana), Anthony Hopkins (Ptolemy)

This is an insult to Alexander the Great. An overlong, miscast and boring mess which, considering the source material, should have been an awful lot better. This is just plain awful.

Alexander The Great was Macedonian, but Colin Farrell plays him as if he's just stumbled out of a Dublin bar, Angelina Jolie sounds more like Vlad the Impaler than Queen Olympias and Val Kilmer is also quite terrible, but also quite unrecognisable so he can spare his blushes a lot easier than the forementioned. The best actors in this are probably the horses.

There was enough potential in the history and legend surrounding the character to make this at least a half-decent movie, but it almost sent me to sleep a few times and when I closed my eyes it sounded like a bar fight on St. Patrick's Day.

The fact that Troy is better than this mulch is bad enough. This is a pathetic excuse for a movie. Amongst the worst films of 2004 and possibly the entire decade.

2/10

Did You Know:

Angelina Jolie, who plays Colin Farrell's mother, was less than a year older than him.

Award Wins & Nominations:

MILSTEAD MOVIE AWARDS:

Wins: none

Nominations: none

Worst of the Year: 1 wins (Worst Actor); 8 nominations (Worst Film; Worst Actress; Worst Director; Worst Supporting Actor; Worst Screen Couple, Double Act or Team; Worst Ensemble Cast; Worst Screenplay (Original); Worst Makeup)

OSCARS:

Wins: none

Nominations: none

BAFTAS

Wins: none

Nominations: none

OTHER WINS:

Golden Schmoes (Disappointment of the Year); The Stinkers (Most Intrisive Music Score; Worst Fake Accent); Yoga Awards (Worst Director)