Coyote Ugly

COYOTE UGLY (12)

D: David McNally

Touchstone (Jerry Bruckheimer)

USA 🇺🇸 2000

100 mins

Comedy/Romance

W: Gina Wenkdos

DP: Amir Mokri

Ed: William Goldenberg

Mus: Trevor Horn

PD: Jon Hutman

Piper Perabo (Violet Sanford), Adam Garcia (Kevin O'Donnell), Maria Bello (Lil Lovell), John Goodman (Bill Sanford), Melanie Lynskey (Gloria), Bridget Moynahan (Rachel), Tyra Banks (Zoe)

The term 'Beer Goggles' refers to your perception of things when you consume vast amounts of alcohol as depicted by some of the characters in this movie. I'd recommend drinking as much if you're settling down to watch this trash, the theory being that you'll be asleep before the opening credits have transpired.

I could waste my time writing a tirade about what is wrong with the actual movie, but it would be a complete waste of time and keystrokes. Young girls who don't know any better won't pay any attention to any negative publicity this bile gets, they'll just watch it, vainly hoping that if they look reasonably pretty, and open their legs to opportunity, their life will be a breeze too. The same young girls will probably watch this film in a double bill of a Katie Price/Jordan/Paris Hilton show on the ITV2 network's Thursday night slot of dumb-ass programmes.

Piper Parabo is terrible in this movie, although she can't be held accountable for such an unlikeable character. In a key scene which points out what a doxy she is, she waltzes into a record company HQ like she's the Queen of England and demands that they listen to her music and sign her up. Because that's how it happens in real life isn't it? I write film reviews online, it doesn't make me Siskel & Ebert, for Christ's sake! They could have made this a 'Working Girl' for the 21st century, but it's closer not to Melanie Griffith's industrious heroine, but rather Bambi Woods in Debbie Does Dallas.

3/10