Goal

GOAL! (aka GOAL: THE DREAM BEGINS) (15)

D: Danny Cannon

Touchstone (Mike Jeffries, Matt Barrelle & Mark Huffam)

UK 🇬🇧 2005

118 mins

Sports/Drama

W: Dick Clement & Ian LaFrenais

DP: Michael Garrett

Ed: Chris Dickens

Mus: Graeme Revell

Kuno Becker (Santiago Muñez), Alessandra Nicola (Gavin Harris), Stephen Dillane (Glen Foy), Anna Friel (Roz Harmison), Marcel Iures (Erik Dornhelm), Sean Pertwee (Barry Lewis)

Santiago Muñez (Becker) is a football rookie spotted in Mexico by talent scouts and offered a move to play for Newcastle United in the British Premier League. The only snag is that he has to leave his family behind and start life afresh on Tyneside.

While the footballing scenes are convincingly brought to the screens, the film seems like a huge product placement opportunity for the Tyneside football club with a shamelessly predictable ending.

There's dodgy Geordie accents throughout and seems to have the moral that money buys happiness rather than personal achievement and the film certainly isn't helped by embarrassing cameos by real-life football stars, including a truly toe-curling appearance from David Beckham, who can't even play himself convincingly.

Two sequels followed, the first of which took Nunez to Spanish giants Real Madrid, followed by a closing chapter where the player heads to the World Cup.

All three films were quite formulaic and unoriginal, and will only really have appeal to huge fans of the sport or, in this case, supporters of Newcastle United football club.

5/10