The Hottie & The Nottie

D: Tom Putnam

Regent/Purple Pictures/Summit (Myles Vestel, Victoria Nevinny, Neal Ramer & Hadeel Reda)

US 🇺🇸 2008

91 mins

Comedy/Romance

W: Heidi Ferrer

DP: Alex Vendler

Ed: Jeff Malmberg

Mus: David E. Russo

Paris Hilton (Cristabel Abbott), Joel David Moore (Nate Cooper), Christine Lakin (June Phigg), The Greg Wilson (Arno Blount), Johann Urb (Johann Wulrich)

This risible excuse for a rom-com was an incredibly poor attempt to launch Paris Hilton as an actress.

Joel David Moore is the real lead, playing a character with absolutely zero charisma who tracks down Cristabel Abbott, who he used to have a crush on when they were both at primary school.

If that doesn’t sound creepy enough, then it only gets worse, as it transpires that Cristabel won’t put out unless someone can hook up with her less attractive friend, June Phigg (Christine Lakin - caked in unflattering makeup).

Borrowing heavily from much better romantic comedies such as 10 Things I Hate About You, There’s Something About Mary and The Truth About Cats & Dogs, this is a misguided and morally flawed attempt to state that true beauty is only skin deep - as long as you’re not ugly.

The entire cast are horrendously poor, though Christine Lakin is probably the only likeable thing about the movie, but she’s done absolutely no favours with the cartoonish makeup which uglifies her for the first half of the movie.

It should be no surprise that Paris Hilton’s ego allowed her to sign on to this project, where she could be seen as the beauty beside the proverbial beast, but there really isn’t anything about her, her character or personality that I find alluring in any way, shape or form.

Shortly after the time of release, it found its way to #1 on the list of IMDb’s bottom 100 (worst films of all time). It’s probably not that bad, but it’s not hot in the slightest.

2/10